Writings


Horse Name Suggestions

I’ve always wanted to name a racehorse. On this eve of Preakness Eve, here are my suggestions: Sergeant Slop, Swat the Fly, Muddy Harry, Flaring Nostrils, Funny Whinny, Only the Oat, Stable Stopper, My Jockey Hits Me, Singing Stallion, Buddy Can You Spare a Stall, Floating on the Track, Easily Spooked, Mean Kick Kimberly, Let’s […]

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My Trip To The Library

It’s been awhile since I’ve been to a library. I don’t like germs. I don’t like people. I stopped borrowing books after finding dozens of hairs between the pages of War and Peace. People would ask me to go to the library. I told them I could not read and eventually they stopped asking. But […]

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Still In The Dark About Light City

If you are opposed to a lot of extra lighting, you’ll wanna avoid Baltimore this week. Light City is underway. This is the third year and I still have no idea what it is. I know there are a lot of extra lights that are a part of exhibits such as “On the Wings of […]

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Overhead Signs On Beltway

Imagine my horror while on the beltway looking at an overhead sign, seeing a warning about radon. January is National Radon Action Month. I haven’t heard about radon since the 80’s! But now, thanks to those overhead signs, radon is top of mind. All I know about it is it can kill you and my […]

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The Mustache Is A Matter Of National Security

The mustache is now a matter of national security. That matter being John Bolton, the President’s pick for National Security Advisor. Some worry Bolton lusts for war. I’m worried about his bushy mustache. President Trump twice rejected Bolton for jobs because of his mustache. No joke. I wouldn’t want to hire a guy who looks […]

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Something Else For Your Pockets

As if you don’t have enough stuff to carry, the government now wants you to put something else in your pockets. Surgeon General Jerome Adams wants more Americans to carry the overdose reversal drug, Naloxone. Now, I’ve been accused of being selfish, but I must say it is totally unreasonable for the Surgeon General to […]

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